somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
