It's Friday. Sex?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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