Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
