So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
