hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
