What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
