yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
