just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
