By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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