i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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