My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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