He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I've blown a few things in my day
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
