if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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