oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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