I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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