i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize