We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
