Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
3pm strippers are depressing
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Randomize
