Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The Olympian is in my bed
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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