From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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