HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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