how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
