awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
