i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
