I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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