So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
