I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Congratulations! We have a period
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
