May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
