Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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