hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
