I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
