I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
BRING THE BAGELS
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
