Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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