Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Randomize
