Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
