he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
