whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
