why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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