I hope mine doesn't look like that
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
