do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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