Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
