SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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