They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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