I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
