No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
