took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
