she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
