"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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