bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My breath smells like gin and sadness
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
