Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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