I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Couch. On fire.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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