After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
