So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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