Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
