Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
