Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
