Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It was confusing and full of hummus
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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