I just made out with a guy for $7.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I intend to get homeless drunk
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
