dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
where am i from again
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize