i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
