Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he thought i was a dude.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
