I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
