And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Do you remember whose house we're in?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
