His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My dad just said "fuck circus"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
