I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
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