the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
