There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
